This Sunday Ox’, Mo’ and I were down at the pool. Maddy was in my lap examining his pruned-up fingers from hours of frolicking. He then put his hand down and asked me:
Ox: ”Mom… how many bones do we have?”
M3: ”We have 206 bones Maddox! Cool huh?”
Ox’: ”Are bones what make us sta-wong?”
M3: ”Yes, in part, with muscles and tendons, and ligaments. But the bones especially support and protect out body’s organs… Maddox what do you want to be when you grow up?”
‘Ox: [looked at me for two minutes biting his lip, and then ended with a shrug].
M3: ”I know there is a lot to choose from huh?”
‘Ox: [nodded head and looked at the ground]
M3: ”You know what the best thing about it all is, bubba? [jerked head up and shook his head] YOU can be whatever the heckaroo you wanna be!”
M0′: [Swam to the shallow end, circulating like a shark ready to thrust into our dialogue] ”Seriously. That is the complete opposite of what you tell me Mom! ’You are going to go to college and be a doctor!‘ Is all I get.”
‘Ox: ”Are there doctors who look at bones?”
M3: [Still tickled at Mo's mockery of M3] “Yes Maddox there are…”
Mo’: ”Yeah Maddox there are also doctors who look at butts and pee-pees… too…” [swam off]
‘Ox: [jerked his head back at me..] ”Seer-awuss-wee did she have to say that… “
Yes Maddox she did… perfect timing and delivery. Perfect.
So for a Kreativ Blogger Award, I thought I could be creative with recognizing my recognition with an accent [Try not saying RECOG-NI-SHE-OWN-AYE without a chin thrust and a head bob]….
A cool lil’ NJ Maven Complete Jensanitysent some props my way, along with some readers. Thanks, my friend. And in keeping with tradition, I am asked to answer some little tidbits about myself, acknowledge the award giver and make-up [just kidding] 10 random unknown facts about myself. Lastly, M3 will pay it forward and pass the KB Bombtastic Award to 7 other great blogs. I know you are all chomping at the bit to hear these little unknown factaroos about me, and check out who I idolize! Buckle-Up Babies!!!
INQUISITION TIME:(i’m freakin’ nervous about this part.. as if me telling you I swallowed SuperHubs Hotelin Monopoly to get out of losing isn’t impressionable enough. I’m psychotic.)
What is your favorite song?
I am a sucker for anything Queen. Everyone votes for Bohemian Rhapsody, sorry Frugalista Blog.. they do. But I’ve cried, karate chopped, air guitared, and even piruetted to Under Pressure. And that was just today.
The official ‘Under Pressure’ music video. Taken from Queen – ‘Greatest Video Hits 2′.
Second is Eminem. I know. I know. Whodathunkit? I can run my ass off to some Eminem so I’m always a fan. Ridaz can get me haulin’ ass and it releases a lot of aggression and tension. I don’t drink or do drugs… this is my thing. Get over it. [Psst... it can get a lot worse without my lil' gangster-thug in Nike persona... trust].
Third is anything by David Gray. I will marry you, have your babies, and put up with dirty underwear just for a night of hearing him swoon in my ear. Just ask my husband.
What is your favorite dessert?
It wasn’t until I had ‘Ox (after) that I actually liked dessert. Don’t know what happened there. I now love traditional chocolate cake. Sucker for it. However, I’ve now disowned anything that is processed (Paleolithic eater, look it up) so I go for good old fruit, veggies and natural for eating. My favourite dessert and tummy filler is Banana, Apple Puree, Walnuts, and Almond Butter, and for a sweet treat topped with raisins. Try it. Lowers my insulin needs and staves of the inevitable cancer track I’ve been blessed with… I believe. If you don’t keep it to yourself, respectfully.
What do you do when you are upset?
I have habituated to lash out. Horrible quality. Hate it. Now I try to run, if my body permits. And then I think, meditate, and breathe. I try to get in my own head and push the negative shite out. Ask myself if I like the physical aspect of anger (heart racing, temples bounding, sweaty/itchy palms, and inner turmoil). Most people don’t. I’m not unique. So I then just make it stop. That I can control. I’m not perfect at it, but I work on it daily. No body likes lasher-outerers… especially themselves.
Favorite Pet?
My favourite pet was my sweet lil’ Hannah – rescue Rottweiler that I (and best friend) found on the side of a common highway in Philadelphia. She was fought, had puppies, and then tethered to a tree to die of starvation. She broke free and made her way to the side of the road. She was two years old, they believe, when we found her and she weighed 26lbs. Horrible sight. Nursed her back to health and she lived to 12 or so years, until she passed from Osteo Sarcoma. Loved that dog. Feckin’ loved that dog.
White or whole wheat?
No bread at all. Processed.. remember… I eat meat, seeds, veggies, and fruit. That is it.. and it is delish.
What is your biggest fear?
Worst fear is that someone will make my children fear for their lives, besides me of course. But you know what I mean? The whole Momma-Bear thingy. I could literally rip someone’s head off, shit down their neck, and then spit in their momma’s eye, if they made my kids get that fear look on their faces. Now if I do it… it’s naturally warranted. Get it .. Momma-Bear-Theory. Flawless.
What is your attitude mostly?
I think I’m perceived as always ready to pounce. However, I think I’m a nervous nelly who doesn’t want to be misunderstood. Horrible quality. But generally in a good mood. Unless you evoke the Momma-Bear and I better see elbows and assholes moving in the opposite direction.
10 Random Facts
I really really really adore smart confident men, who don’t know they are uber intelligent.
I hate wearing underwear. Despite Mo’s protestations of my choices when I do… at times we must wear underwear and I actually cuss.
I sucked my thumb for a LONG time. That is all you get (Please note past tense. First person to ask me gets punched).
I’m actually very shy, and hate forced social interactions. Terribly shy.
I still think I’m destined to be famous, and that it will happen accidentally. Shy factor mucks things up for me. I’m a walking contradiction… get over it.
I want to live in St. Barth’s when I retire. Or Mexico. It will happen. Do or Die.
I once was asked out for a drink and a lay, in a bar by the guy from Oz on HBO, Lee Tergesen. HE thought HE was hot. I didn’t. Very odd and brief encounter.
I cry EVERY time I watch Sister Act. I can’t help it. CRY. Blubbering idiot. Gospel music messes me up.
I love South African accents. I literally act stupid around South Africans. Ridiculous.
I think my husband has the sexiest hands. Very manly. Weird.
Blogs-of-Admiration:
Naturally Frugalista Blog. Hilarious. Tells it like it is, and isn’t afraid to rat herself out for being human.. oh the horror. Love me some FB.
The Bloggessis the fore leader in funnies. Admittedly the dead mouse thing freaks me out… I never liked Dinner with Schmucks for exactly the same reason.. and they are both funny. But you should reserve your own judgement.
Momkatslosinitis probably the only blogger who has me following on YouTube, Twitter, Google+, Facebook, etc. Her letters to Ellen secretly encourage me to plot her kidnapping, tap into her brain for video-edit skill siphoning, and then redeposit her in her home MIB style with a M3 cackle at the end. Dastardly plotting type shite.
The 8BitDad are truly ingenious. Their stance on effecting change in the perception of father’s is admirable and entertaining. The pink robe does have to go, but I dig ‘em.
An amazing blogger You Know It Happens At Your House Toois an inspiration. How she has 5 kids and can accomplish her blog empire… I have no idea. I’m sure there are some child labour laws being violated somewhere, but she’ll never tell. Check her out. Love love love.
The Underachievers Guide to Being A Domestic Goddessis truly the reason for me becoming a blogger. I was viewing her page for the first time on my iphone, while picking up dog from vet after he was de-balled. I was viewing her page, thought it was mine, and status updated about my dogs balls getting the hackeroo. Humiliated, because you can’t delete posts from iPhones (hey Facebook.com, work on that huh?). She was receptive, sent condolences to Dexi, and checks in every so often on his recovery. A gem!
Mommetime has a warm spot in my heart. She lays out her recovery path like a pro. Love the gentle way that she embraces who she is, the rock path from whence she came, and the humour that should be embraced.
And so there YOU go!
Quick go like like like on all social media fronts! Thanks again Complete Jensanity. kisses, M3
Tonight we had a really great Family dinner over at my In-Laws (literally through one door). We live with our In-Laws, separate homes, and every summer my husband’s family has a Cousin Camp. Cousins and Cousins come from far and near to meet and have fun on our little farm here in Pennsylvania. It is awesome. So many kids, so many cousins and just plain fun.
So tonight one of Mo’s cousins, who is about her same age, received a sweet little doll from Mo’s Grandmother (Mimi). It was sweet and the lil’ darling was so happy. Throughout the dinner I could see Mo’s reaction, and it wasn’t a pleased reaction. Which is interesting because Mo’ doesn’t like dolls. So her displeasure with seeing this sweet girl get a doll from Mo’s Mimi was entertaining.
At dinner we had some traditional toasts honouring my in-laws for hosting such a great event every year. At the end of the grown up glass raising gratuities, lil’ sweet Cuz dinged her glass and gave props for the lovely gift. My eyes darted to Mo’ to witness her reaction. Anxiety literally entered the M3 building. ”Please Mo’ don’t ding your glass… please Mo’ don’t ding your glass…” She locked eyes with me. Frowned. And then looked at Mimi and then at her glass. She was seriously trying to think of something to toast to Mimi for and I thought we were about to have a moment of dueling toasts. I immediately thought of the clip below.
Crisis was averted. I smiled lovingly at my Marvelous Mo’ and when we came home from dinner she still had a sour puss on her face.
M3: ”Mo’ you really need to be able to share in someone else’s pleasure of being given something from Mimi. It has no reflection of how much she loves you more or less than someone else in her life. Celebrate in Lil’ Sweet Cuz’s joy.“
Mo’: ”Mom. I don’t really like dolls, but I really think I would’ve liked it too had I gotten one just because I like Mimi.“
I was stumped. However, I need to help Mo’ realize that we “Get what we get, and we don’t get upset.” No matter what. We appreciate what we have and celebrate what others have if it brings them joy.
This Sunday Ox’, Mo’ and I were down at the pool. Maddy was in my lap examining his pruned-up fingers from hours of frolicking. He then put his hand down and asked me:
