I think I may have been a little over zealous when I first wrote that I will try to document this adventure every day. I’m still take the medication as prescribed, but it seriously messes with how I am able to read, much less write anything. However, I have been thinking a lot. A lot about everyone’s comments that I am courageous and brave. Somehow, I foolishly don’t feel it’s deserved. I will cite some reasons why.
1. I have a sister who has been on dialysis for maybe 20 years. She has had three kidney transplants (one was mine in 1995) and ALL have failed. She is on the non-futile list, meaning she will never be a candidate for a fourth kidney. She performs her own hemo-dialysis everyday. That is amazing in and of itself. She additionally, unlike any other renal failure patient, works full time as a Labor and Delivery nurse; as well as is a North Carolina State Forensic Nurse AND a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. She is on call multiple times a week and/or month and goes and aids women and children who have been violated and abused, collects evidence, wipes their tears, and even testifies in court the damage and trauma these violators have inflicted on the victims. That is brave and courageous. And she is the sole inspiration to living a good, healthy and honest life.
2. Second, I am an oncology nurse. I work primarily with liquid cancers and am skilled at running chemo and assisting in Bone Marrow Transplants. The fight that these men and women go through is courageous and brave. I am in awe each day with what new fight, infection, or disease progression they are faced with DAILY. Cancer sucks. And I hate it. They are the warriors.
3. If you could hear the screaming that goes through my head when I hear about a young man or a young woman who doesn’t have health care or insurance to cover even a mammogram, you would probably lock me up as clinically insane. There is so much that can be done to save lives, but because of political agendas and misinformed voters, we lose lives needlessly every day.
I’ve written this blog in a way to poke fun at how easy I have it. While it hurts, like a son of a bitch, I most certainly count my blessings before my bruises. The truly courageous to me who are those in the trenches and dealing with the shit that I am hopefully able to circumnavigate my cutting my breasts off. Please use this post today to think about those who are currently fighting to live. Sorry for being so deep… those are my feelings today.
xoxoxo M3
P.S., SuperHubs has had to help me type and edit this…. I love you all!! Especially Him!!!
amazing.. thought provoking story! hugs!
❤You two make a great team! I feel so humbled to follow along in this healing journey with you!
Isn’t it possible that you are all brave and courageous and beautiful? I never thought it was the degree to which we suffer as much as it is the way we live despite it.
I feel like a complete douche. I haven’t seen your blog in awhile (I switched to self hosted from WP and don’t get all my updates.) I had no idea you were dealing with this battle. Right now I’m moved to a pile of tears. You are brave. Are you kidding? Being out there, putting up these incredible pictures, facing each day. Fight and win. That’s what we chant at our soccer games. Hugs, my friend.